Me as a Life-drawing Model

It is true. I had been a life-drawing (or figure-drawing) model for about 2 years. Yes, nude. It was during a time when I was depressed and needed a boost in self-confidence, particularly confidence in feeling that I was beautiful as a woman, as a human; that even if the man I lived with at the time did not desire me, it was not because I was fundamentally unattractive. I needed to believe that I was not ugly.

(Pic credit: The Gor Project – 3: Photograph of a model attired as a Gorean “kajira” (slave-girl), wearing a Gorean “camisk” garment by Marcus J. Ranum)

It would have been easy to go to a random bar each night, find one-night-stands and numb myself into believing that I was sexually attractive, but that would probably have been damaging to my sense of pride and dignity later on. I needed a “clean” sort of ego-boost. Denial of sex from the man I wanted made me question my raw sexual appeal. I had convinced myself that there was no beauty in my body, which was why I (believed) I failed so miserably in making him desire me.

I guess at the bottom of my heart, as shattered and blackened as it was at the time, there was still a tiny seed of hope. I might not have the charms to make all men love me, but surely, I could not be that ugly.

Posing nude at art classes as a life-drawing model lifted my confidence. It was physically “hard work” as well: thinking of new poses every 15-30 seconds, 1-5 minutes (for shorter sessions) and holding an interesting pose for longer sessions that lasted from 15-30 minutes made you rediscover muscles you never knew you had.

If you want to find out more about life-drawing modelling as a living, I recommend this book:

Modeling Life: Art Models Speak About Nudity, Sexuality, And the Creative Process by Sarah R. Philips

It was not the route that I had chosen, but those 2 years of modelling made me believe that I was good: not just “beautiful” (because there is beauty in all human bodies from an artist’s perspective), but that I was able to come up with interesting (sometimes even described as “wacky”) poses for artists. That was a compliment towards my creativity, of my ability to inspire. That was truly ego-boosting.

My life-drawing modelling experiences found their way (always as a positive, healing, affirming experience) in two of my books: Almond Scent, a lesbian erotic romance, and my latest M/F erotic novelette, Through His Lens. I’ve truly enjoyed writing both of these stories.

If you ever want to try out a part-time job that is satisfying in a completely new (but truly all-encompassing) way, life-drawing modelling might be an option. Be sure to contact genuine art studios or art schools, though. Safety first. Always.


New Release: Through His Lens – an Erotic Novelette

Hi, and yes everyone, after more than a year of short stories, I now have my first novelette, a contemporary erotic romance titled, Through His Lens!

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Title: Through His Lens

Keywords: contemporary / erotic romance / vanilla M/F

Pages: 45

Buy linksAmazon USAmazon UK | Smashwords

Goodreads link:


Newly divorced and rediscovering her place in the world, Fiona found a strange solace in taking photos of herself. Next step: she hired a professional photographer to take her portraits. Modelling for him felt empowering. Would this be only a one-time thing or would she have the courage to pursue a relationship with Nathan, the photographer whose green eyes captivate and disarm her?

Note: Explicit sex scenes. Adult material intended for readers aged 18+.



I wake up feeling refreshed.

Orange light streaming in through the curtains shows that evening is soon approaching. I walk to the bathroom for a shower.

After stripping myself bare, I scrutinize myself in the full-length mirror.

Quite simply put, I still have a hot body. My curves are smooth and pleasing to the eye. Perhaps I am a bit pale from working indoors all the time, but that can easily change. Besides, there is a frailty to the paleness of my skin that I like. A hint of sadness lingers on my face, but generally, my features are attractive. Yes, I decide: I can be considered beautiful.

I take my cell phone and mindlessly begin taking photographs of myself: close-ups of my breasts, full-body shots, slanted angles of my bottom arching up, several near-identical snaps of the small of my back, my legs as I stand tip-toed, the bend of my arms, and a few of my neck as I elongate it.

The thrill of seeing my naked body stacking up in my phone’s photo album is delightful. I am like a teenager first experimenting with her exhibitionist tendency.

That is when I remember Nathan, my wedding photographer who I have heard also does portraits occasionally. He had sent me emails about one or two of his exhibitions before. I skip over to turn on my laptop, butt-naked, and type his name on the Internet to find his website, with a large gallery of his recent works.

I like what I see. His photographs are professional and far more atmospheric than the clear, almost childish ones that I have just taken.

Several of his albums are boudoir photos: some are nude photos of women reclining in various poses on a bed, others are of women dressed up in lingerie and corsets that must have taken hours to bind oneself into. But whatever the respective styles are, I admire all of Nathan’s work.

Too bad he does not have any exhibitions going on at the moment, or I would love to go see his work displayed in real life, while he stands nearby, looking handsome and confident, thanking people for their compliments.

Did I just describe him as handsome and confident?

I grin.

First day of my divorce, and I am already developing a crush on another man. Maybe I am not as innocent as I have imagined, after all.

I stare at his phone number on the browser for ten seconds.

I shake my head.

My eyes continue to gawk at the same spot.

Reluctantly, my feet carry me to the kitchen, boiling water and making myself a large mug of decaf tea, still butt-naked.

Armed with my comfort drink, I return to my computer screen, my full attention fixed on Nathan’s number.

By the time the tea is finished, his number is imprinted in my memory.

I close the browser window.

My butt refuses to move.

I laugh at my juvenile behavior. I type the number onto my phone and call Nathan.

“Hello, Nathan Gould’s studio.”

“Hi, my name is Fiona. You were my wedding photographer a few years back.” Shit. My hands are sweating. “Em… I was browsing through your website and I got interested in your portraits.”

“Nice hearing from you, Fiona. Do you want to do a family portrait?”

“Oh, no, no,” I fidget. “I, err… I just got divorced.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“No, no, it’s a good thing actually.” Damn. Did I have to say that? I clear my throat. “Anyway, I was wondering about, em… the boudoir photos.”

“Sure, let me send you information on a few of our standard packages. You can go with those, or we can arrange something based on that.”

There, the sound of common sense and business; his sober tone puts me back on my tracks.

I give him my email address and hang up. Time to really get my shower.

Enjoyed the excerpt? Get it now!

Buy linksAmazon USAmazon UK | Smashwords

Goodreads link:


Book Cover Reveal: Through His Lens

This is a significant moment for me. Always a short-story and flash fiction writer, this is my very first novelette, truly completed and ready to upload! Through His Lens is a contemporary erotic romance between a divorcee named Fiona and a photographer, Nathan. I am so excited to share the Book Cover Reveal with you today. Yes, I designed it myself, as I have created all my other book covers. ;-)

Through His Lens jpg big

Sometimes emotional healing comes from unexpected sources. Admitting and accepting defeat in love is painful, but perhaps, it takes even more courage to begin a new relationship. I truly enjoyed writing this story. I’ll tell you more about the tale behind this story next time. Release date: Next Friday, September 12th!

Blurb: Newly divorced and rediscovering her place in the world, Fiona found a strange solace in taking photos of herself. Next step: she hired a professional photographer to take her portraits. Modelling for him felt empowering. Would this be only a one-time thing or would she have the courage to pursue a relationship with Nathan, the photographer whose green eyes captivate and disarm her?

Note: Explicit sex scenes. Adult material intended for readers aged 18+.

Hope you like it. Stay tuned for its release next Friday, September 12th!



His Girl

I miss my father. Recent events had me feeling quite pessimistic about men and romantic love (yes, even for a self-proclaimed shameless romantic like myself), so I put my frustration on paper. This short story came into being: His Girl. Enjoy!

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As the buildings and trees flew by in blurred lines of brown and green by the window next to me, my mind kept replaying my affair of the past eight months. I shake my head in disbelief. It was blatantly clear that I was nothing to him. It was stupid of me to believe that a playboy like him could ever fall in love with me. Our brief encounters were only a side dish to him; him with his mirage of women, all possibly stupidly pining for him as I have allowed myself to be. His sweet words lured me into his bed; my pathetic lack of self-esteem made me such an easy target. I sold myself cheaply. Did he even see me as a fling? Or was I just a snack in-between his real mistresses?

The train has stopped. I gather my bags and then get up.

The smell of wet leaves welcomes me on my way to the hospital. The small park has stayed almost exactly the same as thirty years ago. Small puddles of rain that are scattered along the path reflect my brown boots in them, multiplying me tenfold, twentyfold. Dad used to take me here, teaching me how to catch crickets and talk to them. My brows furrow. During the past ten days that I have traveled along the same path to visit my father, I had never recalled this memory. The image of me beaming up at his radiant, intelligent eyes knocks me over with a force that stops me dead in my tracks. My father has been the rock I have leaned onto all my life. Now he lies shriveled in bed two floors up in the building I am about to enter, and yet all I could think of during the two-hour train ride was another man who did not appreciate me.

My nose cringes at the transition from the fresh smell of wet grass to the pungent disinfectant used at the hospital. The pain I seemed to have felt ten minutes ago pales to nothing as the lift climbs up. When the door gaps open, my mind’s eye seems to awaken at the same time. The man who has spent his whole life loving me lies frail in the room I am approaching, but my heart fluttered in futility for another man whose actions screamed indifference. I bite my lower lip in anger. What a fool I have been. Hot tears well in my eyes as I near my father’s room; I wipe them away. Death is imminent for the man who truly cares for me; I will at least show him as much devotion these remaining days as he has already lavished on me all his life. Before he parts for another world, I must let him see strength in me. When he no longer can, I must be my own guardian, protecting myself fiercely.

My heart swells with something that I have long forgotten: resolve and purpose. My face flushes warm with pride: I am his girl. My time is not to be wasted, my heart not to be trifled with. I hold my head up high as I turn into my father’s room, my mind filled only with him; my love always requited, always cherished.

Love you, Dad. You’re always in my heart.


Book Blitz: Catch my Breath

Today we have a special book blitz from Xpresso Book Tours. Enjoy!


Catch My Breath 

by Lynn Montagano
(Catch My Breath #1)
Published by: Harper Impulse
Publication date: April 17th 2014
Genres: Adult, Contemporary, Romance



Lia Meyers’ plan for a relaxing Scottish vacation is short-lived when one uncharacteristic moment of clumsiness lands her in the arms of a dangerously attractive Englishman.

The perfect opportunity for a much needed holiday romance? Wrong! Lia’s still reeling from the mother of all bad breakups, and she really doesn’t have the patience for Alastair Holden – despite his effortless charm and cute British accent.

Arrogant and totally inscrutable, he’s exactly the sort of guy she wants to avoid but can’t: the man behind the mystery proves just too tempting to resist.

Drawn to him, Lia is forced to battle with her own insecurities, and the closer they become, the more she recognizes her own weaknesses as she peels away his layers with every night they spend together. Discovering the past Alastair is so desperate to conceal, Lia must decide if they can heal one another together or if their deepest fears will tear them apart.




A fresh, new voice in contemporary romance, Lynn is a former TV news writer who decided to take the plunge and write a novel. She’s thrilled that her debut series is being published by Harper Impulse. The first book, Catch My Breath, was released in April 2014 to rave reviews. Its follow up, Unravel Me, hits the market in July.


Lynn grew up in a small town in Rhode Island before venturing out into the world. She’s lived everywhere from Los Angeles to Boston to Orlando. An avid traveler, Lynn’s been as far away as Australia and as close as Canada. Her favorite place to visit is London.

The small town girl is back on the east coast after a brief stint in Northern California. Lynn currently resides in Massachusetts, comfortably close to her beloved football team.

Author links:


Special Spotlight: Elodie Parkes with The Summer Heat!

Summer heat, what a perfect title. Please welcome the lovely and sexy Elodie Parkes with her new sizzling menage a trois story!

Thank you for inviting me to your blog to talk about my new Evernight Publishing release, ‘The Summer Heat’.

A ménage romance, two guys and a girl, this is erotic, contemporary romance that sizzles.

The Summer Heat


When lifelong friends Nate and Evan watch the arrival of a new neighbor, they never expect to find their friendship rocked by the lovely Annabel who moves into the empty house next door.

Annabel likes both Nate and Evan the moment she meets them. As they all grow close, will she be forced to choose between these gorgeous men?


Inspiration behind the story:

The inspiration came from a tree being cut down in the communal gardens where I currently live. I didn’t even see it felled, but I was immensely saddened as this was a healthy young tree. In my story, the gorgeous guys are cutting down a diseased tree in their garden, and that’s how they see Annabel move in next door.


My characters:

Annabel. She’s ready for love and looking for someone after her last miserable relationship. I imagine her surprise when she meets Nate and Evan, and has strong attraction to both of them.

Nate: He’s gentle, kind, sensually sexy, very good looking. Friends mean a lot to him. You can feel safe and loved with him, but boy do you know when he’s made love to you.

Evan: Strong, alpha, hides his emotions, but sex just drips from his gorgeous body. He calls you babe and takes charge, all the while your soft skin under his fingertips blows his mind.


Read an excerpt (18+ rating):

They got through her front door before they leapt on each other.

Nate didn’t know how they got their clothes off. The haze of lust at the deliciousness of her kisses fogged his brain. They were in Annabel’s living room, and he was already pounding into her.

Her lips brushed against his ear. Her whispers and moans mingled with his moaning.

He held her under the ass and fucked her hard as she clung to him.

Her hands on his shoulders, she met his thrusts with her hips raised.

His orgasm started with his balls tightening so that he thrust into her as deep as he could. Into his heart dropped the need to make sure she came. He slowed down, kissed her lips, nibbled down her neck, and sucked there.

She bucked her hips to his.

He ground his cock on her clit as he slid into her again.

She moaned into his mouth.

Her pussy clenched around his cock as she pressed her body against him, and he knew she was coming. It filled him with love. He didn’t need to pound into her to come. His orgasm flowed over him as he kissed her. It buckled his knees and weakened his thighs as the ripples of sensation jerked his cock inside her. Nate groaned as Annabel’s tongue touched the tip of his. He pressed his stomach against her enjoying the pressure and satin texture of her skin on his. A melting sensation drifted over him, and he rested his forehead on her shoulder.

“How do you feel?” He whispered against her ear.

She made a little sound, not quite a word.

He interpreted it as pleasure. That’s what it sounded like to him, as if she’d tasted something good. He lifted his head and kissed her tenderly. “Next time, maybe we can slow down, but I needed that so bad.”

Copyright Elodie Parkes 2014 Evernight Publishing All Rights Reserved

Buy links:

Amazon | Amazon UK | All Romance | Evernight Publishing | Bookstrand

About Elodie:

Elodie Parkes is a British author writing romance, erotic, contemporary, and often with a twist of mystery, paranormal or suspense. Her books are always steamy, cool stories and hot love scenes.

Elodie lives in Canterbury with her two dogs. She works in an antique shop by day and writes at night, loving the cloak of silent darkness that descends on the rural countryside around her home.

Elodie writes for Hot Ink PressMoon Rose PublishingEternal PressSecret Cravings, Evernight, and Siren

She has also released titles as an individual indie author.

Find Elodie online:

Blog | Tumblr | Facebook | Twitter | Google + | Pinterest | YouTube | Amazon USA | Amazon UK | Smashwords | B&N | ARe | Bookstrand | Evernight | TRR | ManicReaders

My First Threesome Experience

Threesome, threeway, menage a trois… the specific FFM or however you wish to name it… my first experience with a male and another female… it was fun, an adventure, but also an uneasy psychological battle (even if it had been triumphant in the end). That was a real test of if I truly felt strong enough about my own feminine and raw, sexual powers, of ignoring my self-consciousness and fighting off an insistent, nagging sense of jealousy.

(Pic credit: Three Lovers by Théodore Géricault, 1791-1824)

Truth be told, I agreed to it to please the man, to continue in the unconventional (some might add: immoral) relationship I had with him. I don’t encourage anyone to agree to a threesome or orgy only to please another person, it could be damaging to your sense of self-worth, but I came away from the experience feeling stronger about myself, and quite a bit proud. The jealousy ate at me during all that night, but I discovered that you could live with jealousy and still survive it. He was impressed that I was able to enjoy myself during the night, and felt that our bond with each other was stronger because of it… his logic was: not many “couples” (I wonder if he said it just to make me feel happy with the illusion of being a sham “couple” with him for just one night?) could enjoy threesomes together. True, but after that experience, what I realised even more than that was that: I am strong, sexy and good enough to be enjoyed alone. I don’t ever have to agree to anything just to please anyone, much less just to cling onto a relationship that never was mine.

Anyway, that experience found its way into a much sweeter fictional version titled, Marion’s First Menage which is included in my short story collection, It Is Time and Other Stories. Just for a teaser, here’s the opening as an excerpt to my threesome tale, “Marion’s First Menage,” enjoy!

Tonight marked a milestone: my first threesome with Lex and another woman. Truth be told, I had moments of insecurity: what if he fell in love with her, or what if he preferred her to me? But those thoughts never plagued my mind for too long. The honesty and love that Lex had proven to me over the time we had been together consoled me and lent me courage. I am glad I agreed to it; as strange as it may sound, the menage has strengthened our relationship. But let me start from the beginning.

Lex was my crush from work. It had been a case of lightning-flash love at first sight for me. His tall, lean figure, neat sandy hair, thin lips and his sardonic brown eyes knocked the wind out of me that fateful afternoon. I stammered when he introduced himself in his easy, good-natured way. I could swear the blush he induced on my cheeks never faded during that eight-hour workday. As it turned out, he liked me shy. My timid behavior urged him on; we soon became a pair.

He brought out the adventurous woman in me. It was in his nature to experiment, to try out everything interesting life had to offer, and he encouraged me to experience it as a fellow explorer. The first time he mentioned enjoying a woman together, I thought I must have heard wrong. Lex simply repeated his question, and added, “Have you never thought of touching another girl?”

The tone of his voice was neutral: he was simply asking about facts. Piqued, I allowed my memory to float back and found, to my own surprise, instances where I had desired other women. I distinctly remembered my infatuation over Alice, the softball team leader back in high school. The communal showers had been a source of embarrassment for me throughout the academic year: my nipples were constantly perky from arousal, and I sorely wanted to ease the tension in my wet and needy pussy; all the while the object of my affection was standing naked in the bathroom with me, rubbing shampoo over her perfect curls and lathering mandarin-scented body gel over her toned body. I recalled long summer nights lying in bed, thinking of her and teasing my clit into a frenzy, deliberately holding off my climax just so I could fantasize about her adorable face a few moments longer.

Why had I never acted on it, I wondered? That was when I realized that there was another persona somewhere inside me: a sex-positive, daring and confident female who was happy to embrace opportunities. Associating myself with the ideal of such a fearlessly sexy woman freed me of my inhibitions. It felt liberating to believe that I could be wanton like that, so I took my first step towards my goal: I agreed to finding a playmate to join us for one evening.

It took us two months to find the perfect girl: Irene. We found her on an adult website. It was exciting opening up an account there and be browsing through so many anonymous profiles. The act of searching for Irene was an interesting process in itself: it led to discussions of the type of personalities Lex and I admired in a woman, which in turn helped us understand each other better. The many conversations we had with Irene over the Internet gave me a thrill I never knew existed: it was exhilarating to hunt for a friendly sex partner.

We arranged to meet tonight. Lex knew I would be nervous, so he asked me over to his place earlier this afternoon. He dressed casually: faded blue jeans under his favorite white jersey. Perhaps he wanted me to relax and feel that today was just another Saturday that we were spending together.

At around six, my phone buzzed. A quick glance revealed that it was Irene, saying that she was on her way. Butterflies flew in my abdomen as I felt myself getting wet, anticipating what the night would bring. I locked eyes with Lex; his smile showed me how transparent my mixed emotions were to him. He used a sure-fire way to calm me down: he fingered me.

I could still feel the heat in my cheeks as I sat back up afterwards, wrapping the blanket around me, and snuggling back to his side. I smiled when I remembered that slight disbelief in his voice when he testily slid his finger in me and found that I was already drenched. “You ready to be fucked?”

His gentle, low voice made me purr my answer. He then opened me up and deftly pushed two fingers inside, curling up to that spot he knew would send me over the edge. I wondered how he could still be surprised by his own powers over me. He had become the invisible person to whom I directed all my internal monologues towards; he literally owned my mind.

“It’s about time,” he said, licking my juice from his fingers. “She said she was on her way about…” he looked endearingly at my flushed face, “twenty minutes ago?”

I shrugged my shoulders to hide my deepening blush. I got up alongside him, ready to pick up our sexy playmate.

Liked the excerpt? Download It Is Time and Other Stories to read the full story, and other 14 equally sizzling hot erotic romances!

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Buy linksAmazon USAmazon UK | B&N | Smashwords